Saturday 27th February

This morning we load the kids in the car and drive up to see a new house in the Queen Elizabeth housing estate in north Guildford. No, it is not the most convenient area, but alas, I am not a RBS banker who has just pocketed a multi-zero bonus. I actually quite like the 3-bedroom house. Lily usually rates them by the quality and quantity of toys commensurate with her age group. So a hovel in a shitty part of town above a kebab shop would rate highly if it featured Hello Kitty toys and bright pink wallpaper. This house is empty, so although there are no toys to grade, she is able to run around like a maniac which results in her approval. It’s a good job mortgages are not lent out to 5-year olds (although I suspect some banks did before the 2008 crash.) We then do the shopping at Waitrose, look round a few estate agents in Godalming (whereupon snooty Hamptons International might as well say: “You are too poor…”) and then in the evening, I rustle up a nice sirloin steak with saffron and tarragon sauce.

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